my friend and i were slam dunk drunk and made up new names for states
i present to you THE UNTIED STAPES OF AMERICLAP
NORP CROLEENA REPRESENT
I’m in a Noon Yarn state of mind
Remember that episode of Jimmy Neutron where the ending implied that at least the entire episode if not the whole series was the nightmare of a sentient pizza pie
"why do you want to take a picture of that store" - my mom
Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters
they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay
“He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis.”
"Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you.”
"He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.”
"It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro.”
"If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal, not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly - again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly.”
And, of course:
"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t."
the one that will always stay with me is “Arthur Dent was grappling with his consciousness the way one grapples with a lost bar of soap in the bath,” i feel like that was the first time i really understood what you could do with words.
CAN WE TAKE A SECOND TO APPRECIATE AN ACTUAL LINE FROM A FALL OUT BOY SONG:
“Anything you say can and will be held against you so only say my name”
IF YOU DON’T THINK THAT’S SMOOTH AS FUCK YOU CAN GET OUT OF MY FACE CAUSE THAT’S A SWEET-ASS PICKUP LINE
Meme is a stupid word.
It’s especially stupid when people mispronounce it.
jesus christ we really do have a gif for everything…
- Time Lord! Might have known!
- Might have know what?
this mother fucker is the voice of nemo
shit i think i want to fuck nemo
this little fucker goes to my college— I’ve met him. To make matter worse, he’s sweet and shy. And hates it when people whisper “fish are friends, not food” around him.
oh my god
"Ew you’re a guy and like the color pink are you gay?"
I’ve been waiting for this post all my life